hush your mouth, it's christmas

Learn this lesson well: if you start a new job and also move house and suddenly have no internet all within the same week, your chances of blogging, no matter how much you want to, are really slight. So with that slight chance comes a slight blog post, more a round up than anything else, but a marginally exciting one, I hope. I'm typing it in a cafe on my lunchbreak. I don't know if it's going to really come together, but...Behold! 

THE HUNGRYANDFROZEN 2012 COMPENDIUM OF HOMEMADE GIFTS THAT AREN'T TERRIBLE, AT BEST, PROBABLY.

It's pretty much last year's one but with a few more things added in that I've made over this strange, long year - because why not make people food as a gift? Sure it's ephemeral, but so many good things are. Like a satisfyingly large...sneeze. Whether or not you're a Christmas-goer - and so many people aren't - frankly I'm mostly in it for the food, the intoxicating scent of pine, and old-timey Hollywood stars' Christmas albums - this list might be of use to you should you ever want to give someone something but don't know what, or better yet, want to give them something but don't want to be presumptuous about what it is they'd like hanging on their walls or tchotchke-ing up their shelves. 

Homemade peppermint schnapps using candy canes! Serve with a stripy straw! All is calm, all is Pinterest. 

Jams and Sauces and Things In Jars But Are Actually Pretty Easy Despite Looking Fancy:

Orange Confit (This is just slices of orange in syrup, but is surprisingly applicable to a variety of surfaces. And pretty. And cheap.) (vg, gf)
Cranberry Sauce (Impossibly easy to make.) (vg, gf)
Bacon Jam (Best made at the last minute, because it needs refrigerating) (vg - kidding! - but yes, gf)
Cashew Butter (vg, gf)
Red Chilli Nahm Jim (gf)
Cranberry (or any-berry) Curd (slightly more effort, so I'd do this before midnight - but so pretty.) (gf)
Rhubarb-Fig Jam (gf)
Salted Caramel Sauce (gf, has a vegan variant) 
Apple Cinnamon Granola (vg)
Marinated Tamarillos (vg, gf)

Salted Caramel Sauce: well, it IS 2012. 

Baked Things, The Classic Choice: 

Look, my Christmas Cake is amazing. I don't have the time to be coy. Make it on the day, it'll still be great. 

Christmas-Spiced Chocolate Cake (This is also excellent for pudding on the day itself.) (gf)
Chocolate Orange Loaf Cake
Vegan Chocolate Cake (It's good! It's easy!) (vg)
Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookies
Coconut Macaroons (gf)
Chocolate Macaroons (gf)
Gingerbread Cut-out Cookies (vg)
Coconut Condensed Milk Brownies
Salted Caramel Slice 
Fancy Tea Cookies 
Chocolate Olive Oil Cake 
Homemade Cherry Ripe
Also, if you click on the link to the Orange Confit above, you'll see a recipe for the easiest, fastest fruitcake loaf. It makes an excellent present, for the sort of person who'd like to receive fruitcake. And 'tis dairy free. 

Marinated tamarillos. For any of your relatives that talk about, like, Sauvignon Blanc and brie a lot, in an authoritative tone. 

Novelty!

Moonshine Biffs (like homemade Milk Bottles!) (gf)
Raw Vegan Chocolate Cookie Dough Truffles Candy (vg, gf)
Lolly Cake
Peppermint Schnapps (vg, gf) (Pictured above)

I Am Already Asleep But Need A Present For That Person Who Needs A Present Because They Just Showed Up NOW.

Candy Cane Chocolate Bark (No effort, vegan - well, I think candy canes are vegan - gluten free, amazingly delicious, just store it carefully so it doesn't melt)
White Chocolate Coco Pops Slice (Even less effort! Maybe try adding a little oil to the white chocolate so it doesn't sieze up like mine did.)

SO that's that. 

I have three minutes left on my lunch break.

So I will keep this swift like Taylor and be more talkative next time. 

We adore our new house. We also, uh, spontaneously bought a christmas tree in the middle of moving day. It just felt like the right choice, although admittedly our choice-making faculties were a little worn down given the circumstances.  

Baubles from our dear friend Jo, three handmade laser-cut decorations from dear friend Kim (who is BACK FROM JAPAN *high kick*) 40 metres of solar powered fairy lights from Tim's and my excellent choice-making faculties, and apparently some more decorations are on their way from Mum. We've had visitors and I've made a cake and it smells like pine needles, so even though there are still boxes everywhere...sorry to get gross...it's not just a house anymore, but a home! 

Well, it is nearly Christmas. Can't be grumpycat alllllll the time. 
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Title via: RENT. It all starts and ends with RENT. This is from Christmas Bells, a syncopated mess that I can't get enough of. 
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Music lately:

Still so obsessed with Royals, by Lorde, and because of the no-internet thing, have been cruelly, cruelly kept from listening to it. So you should listen to it twice as much for both of us! 

Nina Simone, Suzanne. Too, too beautiful.

Mariah Carey, Oh Santa. I know, not the obvious Mariah xmas choice. All I Want For Christmas Is You is actual perfection, but you know what? I flipping love this song. Mariah = flawless, even when she's not really.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Next time: A real blog post! With real recipes! From our new kitchen! Maybe I'll throw sanity to the wind and try to perfect that xmas pulled pork recipe I've been formulating in my brain.