down with love, with flowers and rice and shoes

I have a day off today and approached it with gleeful anticipation of writing a blog post with diligence and discipline, but instead I had a terrible sleep last night (the kind where you just wake up at irritatingly regular intervals for no good reason) and I'm assuming it's that which has left me staring listlessly at the screen unable to think of anything cool to say about this rice pudding.

So then I had a break and spontaneously danced around the lounge, free-limbed and embarrassingly passionate! I leapt and did high kicks and sank into the splits and twirled! And now I'm back on the couch sitting under my laptop and I'm still tired and uninspired but like, dancing was fun, I guess. But if doing enthusiastic self-flinging to Inside Out by Eve Six and Problems by ASAP Rocky and Honey to the Bee by Billie Piper can't help inspire one to talk about rice pudding, then, well. What is there.

But now that I think about it, having worn holes in my socks from pirouetting on carpet and exhausted my lung capacity from doing powerful leaps, this rice pudding was really, really good. I don't even consider myself someone who considers rice pudding...at all. But I had some at a cafe recently and was, upon eating it, filled with profound thoughts like "This is so exemplary, I might make my own damn rice pudding some time."

The rice pudding I've made is part of a mighty enough English tradition of milk-based puddings, with this being rice cooked slowly in said milk till it has swollenly absorbed the lot and turned all creamy and soft and comforting. Numerous cultures worldwide have their own similar version, presumably with everyone coming to the same culinary conclusion around the same time many years ago. It can be utterly vile, and worse, boring, but when made right it's pretty brilliant. Rice has its own subtle flavour and texture which suits the aggressive creaminess, and as a prop for other flavours - in this case, sesame-tinted caramel sauce and sugary blackberries - it's excellent.

I was determined to avoid any troubling blandness here so used a mixture of full cream milk and water plus milk powder, which seems counter-intuitive for the sake of it, but if there's one thing I enjoy, it's seeming counter-intuitive for the sake of it. But also I do like the vanilla-salt-kick that milk powder gives, and have this vague and unfounded scientific feeling that a mixture of milk and water makes for better liquid absorption. The rice itself releases its starches slowly, making it stupidly creamy all on its own, and then you can pour over as much actual cream as you like once it's cooked. The sesame seeds aren't super necessary but their warm toasty nutty flavour makes things more compelling, and works oddly well with the particular tartness of the berries. And when you're making a pudding that you're not entirely sure you're even that enthused about the concept of in the first place, "oddly well" is a highly respectable result.

rice pudding with blackberries and sesame caramel sauce

a recipe by myself. Serves four, although I ate the lot entirely alone (in two sittings, not that I'm entirely concerned what you think about my portion-related decisions) This makes honestly about seventeen times more caramel sauce than you need but it's nice to wake up the next morning and drink the remainders of it while standing in front of the fridge. I'm assuming you've got frozen blackberries here, but by all means use freshly picked ones if you've got them, you princess of the meadow.  

three cups full fat milk
two cups water
four tablespoons full fat milk powder
two tablespoons sugar
a pinch of salt
three quarters of a cup of arborio rice

one cup of frozen blackberries
one tablespoon caster sugar
one teaspoon vanilla extract

one tablespoon of sesame seeds
50g butter
half a cup of brown sugar
half a cup of cream
a small pinch of salt

Place the blackberries, sugar, and vanilla in a bowl and leave to sit while you make the rice. 

In a large pot, bring the milk, water, milk powder, sugar, and pinch of salt gently to the boil. Pour in the rice and stir it, lowering the heat to a simmer. Allow to simmer, stirring often, for around thirty minutes or until the rice is swollen and soft. You may need to add extra water if it's looking like this will never happen. I did. There was totally a point where I was like, 'wow, I guess I'm never going to have rice pudding ever', because the rice just would not soften entirely. You just have to keep stirring and tasting (don't bother tasting till most of the liquid is absorbed though) and eventually it honestly will be cooked.

Let it sit while you make the caramel sauce - toast the sesame seeds in a small pan till they're browned, then quickly tip them into a bowl (quickly, because they will burn swiftly if left unattended) and in the same pan, melt the butter and brown sugar together. Once it's bubbling, tip in the cream and stir vigorously, then remove from the heat. It might look all weird and separated but stirring will bring it together! Tip the sesame seeds back in along with the salt and stir them through. 

The blackberries by now should have defrosted into the sugar and be all glossy and syrupy. Spatula the rice into a serving dish, fling the berries and some of their syrup over the top and then spoon over as much caramel sauce as you like. Serve with more cream and caramel sauce for pouring over. Should you have leftovers, it's worth knowing that the rice near the berries will turn an unpromising blue colour, it's all good and all still plenty edible. 

Describing rice pudding as comforting might seem a bit obvious, but sometimes things are obvious for a reason. It is just so soft, and creamy, and mildly sweet, and warm, like eating that particular feeling where you pull a pile of laundry out of the dryer and then lie down and pile it all on top of yourself like a cosy mountain. The caramel sauce pierces all the plainness with its dark sugary salty toffee vibes, and the blackberries bring some pure fruity sweetness which feels necessary in the face of all that milk and starch.

And importantly, the berries also look so pretty against the snowy white rice.

Aside from trying to write this post I've spent the weekend thus far rewatching Skins, reading up with terror and horror on Ferguson (I recommend this brief but devastating piece by Roxane Gay), making a pre-wedding breakfast for a bride and bridesmaids at my flat (my roomie Kate being one of those bridesmaids), lying in bed willing myself to go buy iron pills, and anticipating December with trepidation. My tarot card for November was all "it's over, let it goooo" and "get lots of hugs" and I'm not sure that I've quite lived up to the potential of it but I mean, I did cut my hair.

I still have short hair! And that was the weekly Laura's Hair Roundup

So the thought of December being amongst us is making me a little nervous - this will be the first ever Christmas I don't spend at home with family, because I'll be working, and also there's just that weird thing where the end of a year makes you consider every damn moment that's led up to this point and what you could have done differently and what it all means and who you are and where you're going with life and stuff. But my tarot card for December is Queen of Wands, which is a super rad one to have, being all about things like creative vision and achieving goals; enjoying the limelight; acting upon feelings; and, according to one site, potentially finding love by meeting someone through a light-haired friend (am I that light-haired friend to myself?) Cool, yes? Well, whatever the cards say could happen, as long as I thrive aggressively and be 100% successful in all aspects of my life and get intimidatingly rich and radiate pure happiness, I'll be quietly satisfied. 

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title from: Down with Love, by that queen Judy Garland. Up with love, I say, but the song's sentiment is pretty understandable sometimes. Especially if Judy's singing.

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music lately: 

Eve 6, Inside Out. Erm yeah I listened to this about nineteen times yesterday, whatever. 

Lorde, Yellow Flicker Beat, live at the AMA's. The last five seconds, chills through my heart. 

En Vogue, Don't Let Go (Love). The lyrics to this are blisteringly good. "Have the right to lose control", omg. This is the kind of song that gives me false nostalgia about the nineties. Actually, so is the Eve 6 song. Damn it!

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Next time: I might blog about the granola that I made for the bridal kids? It's delicious stuff and looked pretty, and those are my usual requirements covered. 

she takes your voice and she leaves you howling at the moon

I started writing this trying to compare my approach to food with Alice in Wonderland's love of pretending and supposing and imagining and the comparison didn't quite fit and so I deleted it and started again and deleted it and started again, along the way learning a valuable lesson: I subconsciously just wanted to show that I could use the word "adumbrated" confidently in a sentence (as in, I was going to say that I had adumbrated Alice's words since I couldn't remember where I had actually packed my copies of the books in order to quote them directly.) Long story short, I am pretty annoying and I have lots of ideas about food. 

Long hair short: this also happened. I may be pretty annoying, but am also pretty, comma, annoying.

My hair has never been shorter than shoulder length, and even that was only once. Many years ago. So: the smaller the hair, the bigger the deal, really. And I like it! It was terrifying having it happen, especially when it was really only spurred on by a vague sense of needing a change and also one time I tied my hair into a low bun and thought I looked alright without much hair going on, but I remain all or nothing and so was not going to settle for a mere bob or even an aggressive trim. I'm very happy with the results. It's a whole new Laura! I now have so many new looks! Like "meanest girl in the 1960s boarding school" and "girl in a 1990 edition of Dolly having the time of her life" and "trying very hard to look like Edie Sedgewick" and "Justin Bieber". In case you're wondering, yes, I did keep the ponytail. I plan to plant it under a tree which I imagine will quickly flourish and bloom and grant wishes to passers-by who are true of heart. 

So yes, this salad came about because of an Alice-esque flight of fancy of mine - supposing there was a salad that was mostly made up of the sort of things that normally garnish a salad? As opposed to stupid vegetables? Lettuce leaves and cherry tomatoes were thus combined with the following good things: very buttery croutons, homemade basil almond pesto, fried sage leaves, toasted pumpkin seeds, crumbled feta, and pea shoots. I would've added avocado but none were ripe, but just know that it is supposed to be there also. I mean, this is essentially just "a salad", really, but it's fun to think of it as being comprised almost entirely of garnishes. So that's how I'm going to pretend it is.

I know this is the same dish I used in the photographs for the last blog post, I understand if you never want to read this blog ever again now. 

garnish salad

a recipe by myself. Serves two with seconds, or four one time. 

one or two heads cos lettuce, roughly torn

a handful of cherry tomatoes, halved (sorry to be a monster, but they do go further this way) 

a third of a cup of pumpkin seeds

three pieces of slightly old white bread

lots of butter

a cup of fresh basil leaves

half a cup of sliced almonds

about 25g parmesan cheese

olive oil

a handful of sage leaves

about 50g feta

a handful of pea shoots

Make the croutons first, and while they're cooking, get onto the pesto. Tear the bread into chunks around an inch wide, although it really doesn't matter. Throw them into a baking dish with about 25g butter (or more) diced and dotted over the top, and bake at 160 C till browned and crisp. 

Meanwhile, using a large knife, roughly chop the basil, almonds, and parmesan till it forms a herbaciously fragrant rubble. Transfer all this into a bowl and stir in enough olive oil to make it a kind of pesto-resembling paste. Set aside. Melt a knob of butter in a heavy frying pan, and once it's sizzling, throw in the sage leaves, removing and setting aside once they're darkened and crisp. Finally, in the same pan, toast the pumpkin seeds until lightly browned. 

Now: put your lettuce leaves, croutons, most of the pesto, the feta, oh my gosh literally everything okay just put it all in a salad bowl and stir carefully so that it's mixed together but not flung out of the bowl. Add a little extra olive oil to what remains of the bowl of pesto and spoon it over the top, and then serve. 

 we've curated the finest artisinal garnishes, just for you

It's easy to make fun of salad, especially since the Simpsons gave us the truism that you don't win friends with it, but when it's as aggressively loaded up with as many good things as this it would be silly to deny its complete and utter deliciousness. Crunchy seeds and nuts, marvelous cheese and other cheese, sweet bursts of cherry tomato and dissolvingly buttery sage leaves. The lettuce has its place too, much as I'd happily eat a bowl of croutons on their own the fresh crispness of it helps bolster everything else and bring it all together. This is one of those things where you could make changes depending on what you have to hand or can find - use sunflower seeds instead of pumpkin, use walnuts instead of almonds (or use actual pine nuts but they're monstrously expensive), use parsley instead of basil, increase or ignore quantities that sort of thing. Salad! It's SO good. Or at least, this one is. 

So, I made another episode of Bedtime with Hungryandfrozen! This time about my love of grapefruit popsicles. I also obviously but totally recommend the first two videos, about cornflakes with chocolate milk and steak, respectively. I do get a little stressed about like, good grief, what am I doing with my life, shouldn't I be doing something super successful in the field of being seen to be talking about food in a media capacity and instead I'm in bed making grainy videos about cornflakes, but...they are pretty fun. 

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title from: Linda Ronstadts' sad, sweet cover of Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues. Leaves, lettuce leaves, yeah? My blog, my puns, okay!

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music lately

Zara McFarlane, Police and Thieves. Dad emailed me a link to this saying it was very cool: his opinion was correct. A little jazzy and a lot gorgeous. 

Fiona Apple, Across the Universe. So, so dreamy. 

Taylor Swift, Blank Space. Far out I love this song. The way she says "they'll tell you Iiii'm insane" is so great. 

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Next time: I haven't done any baking in a while and every time I have it has sort of screwed up in some way - fallen apart, overcooked, that kind of thing. So, I wanna counteract that by being brilliant. If that works, you'll see it here first. 

suburban trees suburban speed and it smells like heaven

look what happens when you move to the suburbs: brunch!

Ah, the suburbs! I say, with arms wide open like Maria Von Trapp on top of a mountain doing an impression of Scott Stapp from Creed in their song With Arms Wide Open. It has been a true rollercoaster ride of being ignored by the neighbour's cat, taking slightly longer to walk to work, and picking fresh herbs from the garden to use as garnish. For real though, I've been cooking so much more than I have done in a long time, and it is good for that soul of mine. And also for inter-flatmate relations, since there's nothing like being plied with brunch. On some recent morning (I forget which, I've been working day shifts as well as night shifts at work and it completely messes with my sense of what day or time it is at any given day or time) I made this for Kate and I  - a kind of improvisational thing vaguely based upon the Middle Eastern dish Shakshuka, using what I could find around me. Those things being tomatoes, a can of 'Moroccan-style' chickpeas, and some eggs. 

Pulling it all together was some impossibly thick Zany Zeus Greek yoghurt (seriously, it has the texture of buttercream icing) mixed with sumac, dried thyme and sesame oil, with olive oil pooling on top along with torn mint leaves.

If Marmite on toast is the most adventurous you get for breakfast (and that's cool, because oh man marmite and butter and toast together are sublime) then this might sound a little dubious, but obviously it's going to taste amazing, so deal with it and expand your horizons. On the other hand, if you're used to actual proper Shakshuka, this is a not-bad variation on that theme, I guess. Either way, it's thoroughly delicious, with the softly baked eggs melting into the buttery tomatoes and spiced, grainy chickpeas. The tart yoghurt lifts up all these flavours and stops it being too, too rich, but also kind of adds to the luxuriant feel of it at the same time. If you're only inclined to get hold of one herb then mint is what I'd recommend - its icy fresh-sweetness is perfect. But spicy basil and adorable pea shoots also help, if you happen to have some to hand like I did.

baked eggs with roasted tomatoes and chickpeas, also yoghurt with sumac and olive oil

a recipe by myself, but it's not overly original, serves two to three people

four tomatoes
butter
olive oil
a pinch of ground cinnamon
a pinch of smoked paprika
about a tablespoon of brown sugar
one can of Moroccan style chickpeas, or just one can of regular chickpeas and about half a cup of tomato puree
one teaspoon ground cumin
three eggs
basil, mint, fancy pea shoots if you've got them

half a cup or so thick plain Greek yoghurt
one teaspoon sumac
one teaspoon dried thyme
one teaspoon sesame oil
olive oil 
a pinch of salt
more mint

Set your oven to 200 C/400 F. Halve the tomatoes and arrange snugly in a roasting dish. Sprinkle over a little cinnamon, smoked paprika, and the brown sugar, and put like, a teaspoon/small square of butter on each tomato half. Finally, drizzle with a little olive oil and then roast for about 20 minutes, then tip in the chickpeas and the ground cumin and return to the oven for another ten minutes. Crack the eggs one at a time into a small cup or bowl and then carefully tip them into the roasting dish (or just crack them straight in but it's a little easier this way. Return to the oven and lower the heat to 180 C/350 F, and bake for another ten to fifteen minutes until the eggs are juuuust cooked. Remove from the oven and scatter with your herbs and then serve. Oh wait, the yoghurt: mix the yoghurt, sesame oil, thyme and sumac together. Sprinkle over some more sumac, drizzle over some olive oil - a couple of teaspoons - and sprinkle with some torn up mint. 


(this is Kate's instagram. I kinda wanna vow that my next cookbook, when/when it happens, will *only* have instagram photos. Because look at this, seriously.) (Aside: ohhh how I want to write another cookbook.)

When I'm not cooking I'm being fed like a queen by Kate and Jason too, so it's all pretty blissful. (Examples: apple fritters, handmade pasta with roasted butternut, cheese and tomato mousetraps, fried asparagus) I mean I'm still me, y'know, where am I going with my life, why am I so broke (likely answer: dating. It makes you broke), how do you be a human without making it look as though you've read a book called How To Be A Human, will I ever get another cookbook, what's the deal with self-esteem, that kind of thing. But I'm reeeeally well fed. And making progress with the cat!

magnanimous kisses from princess Ariel

What else has been happening lately? I managed to pull together two costumes for two massively fun Halloween parties in a row this weekend, with only things found in my wardrobe (Baby Spice and Andrew WK, if you're wondering.)

(bonus cyberspace me at a recent galactic-themed party. Everything I wear I think of as a costume, but I really love literal costumes too.) 

I also posted a new episode of my super-necessary web series Bedtime with HungryandFrozen.  It's not that great, but I'm personally a bit endeared by it which means statistically at least one of you might enjoy watching it.  And that's all I have for you today, on account of it's kind of hard to type when your arms are flung wide open and you're rapturously yet patronisingly shouting "the suburbs!" to no-one in particular. 

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title from: Modern Lovers, Roadrunner. I am straight up obsessed with this song and have been since the moment I heard it. I'm gonna listen to it about twelve times in a row right now. One, two, three, four, five, six!

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music lately:

Boom Clap, Charli XCX. Just so, so sweet.

I Could've Been Your Girl, She and Him. Zooey Deschanel's voice, I love it. This song, I love it. 

Good Kisser, Usher. Sleek. 

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next time: I made this amazing Ottolenghi pistachio soup, but am not sure if the photos turned out that well...so...?